It's been a while hasn't it?  I'm not going to lie, I have gone back and forth over giving up this space and letting it go or just keep paying for it every month and not doing anything with it, which is what I have been doing.  Truth be told however, this little blog holds 17 years worth of memories…did you read this…17 YEARS!

 Sitting out here in my summer yard one night I thought about these years. These years that I have met some of my now dearest friends, which is priceless to me.  These years that I have shared so many laughs and memories with you.  These years that I have shared my children's growing up years.  These years that I shared my dear dogs, my show days, my breeding days and my love..and sometimes frustrations with them. (Aging dogs with dementia…challenging!)

My life has changed in so many ways, as I know so much has changed for so many of you who I met along my blogging journey.  I have been incredibly blessed to meet so many amazing people when blogging was a real thing and we were excited about this new medium that we discovered! 

You know what I mean?… right?  The days before Facebook and Instagram reduced us to snippets of ourselves instead of belonging to a community of like minded people.  I miss the community that we once were, and even though we can never go back to what once was, I'm going go pick it up and go forward with it again, especially because Facebook makes my brain hurt these days…LOL.

I'm not going to be posting every day, but I'm looking forward to finding my community of people again in a much quieter way. as I visit Facebook less and less.

Here is a link to my very first post back in 2004…hello. ❤️

 

Within each of us there is an intense need to feel that we belong. This feeling of unity and togetherness comes through the warmth of a smile, a handshake, or a hug, through laughter and unspoken demonstrations of love. It comes in the quiet, reverent moments of soft conversation and in listening.
William R Bradford

 

I took this video to emphasize the noise that we can make in the quiet.  
Even in the quietest moments the noise can be either distracting or comforting.  
For me in this video, it was comforting knowing that Ken was leading the way while I quietly followed.  
He would point out things that I should watch out for all the while guiding me, which was comforting.

Other times when I am at work, the noise can be so distracting.  As an ADD adult, I have learned over the years that I work best when I stay in my lane and stay focused. When I do this, I rock it…however when I let the noise that surrounds me enter into my lane, it usually sets me off my path.  

Different noises, different results.  Listening to sounds that bring comfort and listening to noises that bring distraction and knowing the difference…

I have always been a person who could sense another person's discomfort in a new situation and would try to fill that space with words, so that they wouldn't feel alone or unaccepted.  Over the years however, I have learned that these empty spaces of silence are ok sometimes, especially when we are with those we love and care about most.  Giving each other time to embrace the silence and just listen to the quiet sounds around us….sometimes is not only just enough, but perfect.

Love you my friends!! ❤️

This is the moment of embarking.
All auspicious signs are in place.
In the beginning, all things are hopeful.  We prepare ourselves to start anew.  Though we may be intent on the magnificent journey ahead, all things are contained in this first moment; our optimism, our faith, our resolution, our innocence.
 Deng Ming~Dao

Hello friends!

I met the most magical bird this weekend!!!

I am not usually an anxious person, but this pool of nothingness that we are swimming in has been an exceptional challenge for me and I frequently feel a heavy sense of sadness that I struggle to escape.

Ken has been amazing at making sure that he gets me to see a glimpse of the ocean that he knows soothes my soul and today while we were in Rye and stopped for a delicious clams and fries take out for lunch, this special little bird accompanied us.  It was not a bird that I was familiar with by sight, but when I kept hearing sounds of other birds that I knew such as a chickadee, a cardinal, a grackle, a bluejay and even a seagull, I wondered if perhaps it was a Mockingbird and sure as sh*t when I looked up a Mockingbird, this was exactly the bird that I shared my lunch with and it made my heart smile and find a sense of balance again.

These are hard times for sure that we are all experiencing, but on the other side of this, there is hope.  Just as happily as that little bird sang to me at lunch, it gave me hope that we will be ok, especially if we cling to the power of hope.

“Aren’t you worried about the state of the world?”
I allowed myself to breathe and then I said, “What is most important is not to allow your anxiety about what happens in the world to fill your heart. If your heart is filled with anxiety, you will get sick, and you will not be able to help.” 

Yes, there is tremendous suffering all over the world, but knowing this need not paralyze us. If we practice mindful breathing, mindful walking, mindful sitting, and working in mindfulness, we can try our best to help."
~Thich Nhat Hanh

I made a challenging decision to step away from FaceBook for a month.
It was not an easy one because I know it will isolate me from my dearest friends, 
but the overwhelm that I feel daily is growing, so I am taking a month to clear my mind, the air that I occupy and fill the scrolling time with learning new things, taking time to read a book, tend to my little seedlings that are happily growing and tend to my spirit that needs to be fed, just like my sourdough starter.

I will be posting here more often and I will link these posts to FB even though I am going to stay logged out. 
Perhaps this quiet time away will help me find my way back to the roots that gave me the circle of friends from both far and wide that I hold most dear to my heart.

xoxo
~Kim

Worry is an addiction
That interferes with compassion..
Deng Ming~Dao

It's that time of year where we start planning ahead for summer's bounty.  We have been enjoying an early Spring, which under normal times it would be so wonderful to be out and about and enjoying our beaches, lakes and parks.
(although we may dip our kayaks into the lake this weekend if it is warm enough)

One way I am enjoying this early Spring gift is by getting my little beds ready for planting.
Even though I used to really love my big gardens, I won't lie….not having to do all of that weeding and tilling by hand certainly makes gardening so much easier.
It was so nice to just have my hands in the dirt again, spreading out the amendments that I know my soil needs.

Normally I purchase the bulk of what goes into these beds at a local garden center, Spiderweb in Tuftonboro, but not being sure if they would be open this year (which I now know that they will be), I decided to start the bulk of what I would be planting this year with seeds that a friend gave to me last year.

In the past I haven't started with seeds because I don't have a good east facing window to accommodate those seedlings but this year I invested in a seed heat mat, which has worked so well not only for the seedlings, but also for Matilda's fermentation and it gets just enough light from the west facing window.

Everything is off to a good start!  I have actually transplanted all of these into bigger flats and giving the the slower growing vegetables a little more time in their domed humidity house.  
I should be able to get the lettuce, herbs and spinach into the cold frame soon.

On a completely different note, see this pot?  
It's where my chives grow to keep them under control
I put the bowl that I always keep under it over the top because I knew we were going to get some snow and the soil in the pot was already very wet, so I didn't want whats growing to get drowned out.
They look like a matching set don't they, but they are not!
The pot was one that I purchased at the Lowes last year and the bowl is one that I made long before I purchased the pot.

As soon as all of this virus stuff is behind us, I am definitely getting my kiln rewired and ready to work with.
It will be fun to play with mud again too!

Spiritual success is gained by daily cultivation.
If you practiced for the day, then you have won.
If you were lazy for the day, then you have lost.
Deng Ming~Dao

I have to say that this was the strangest Easter that I have ever experienced.  
It wasn't a bad Easter, but just very different and a bit unsettling.

I spent the day cooking, much as I normally would because I wanted to bring an Easter Dinner to my parents who do not live very far away.  We delivered it to them in time for them to enjoy it for dinner…all the while staying 6 feet apart.

This big family of mine also scheduled a time to all get together for a visit.  So bizarre this Zoom thing is, but I was so grateful to be able to see the faces and hear the voices of my loved ones. 
We were not together in person, but it was fun to see everyone and watch the two little boys being silly with each other.
Those 45 minutes went by much too quickly!

 

Of course I chose this already busy day for me to decide to try to make a loaf of Sourdough bread for the first time from scratch and needless to say it was not an overwhelming success..haha.
I know where I went wrong, so when I try again, I think I will have a better outcome.
We don't learn if we don't fail now and then right?

I hope that you all had a peaceful Easter in this very different world right now.
xoxo
~Kim

Seven geese pierce straight line over frigid bay,
Intervals between them constantly equal,:
Today is the ideal moment between yesterday and tomorrow.
Deng Ming~Dao
(I love this quote about staying in today…in the moment)

Like many of you out there, I decided to give making a sourdough starter from scratch a try.
When my oldest 3 children were small, a friend gave me some of her starter that I kept up with for a while, but life with 3 young children was busy and I just forgot about it and ended up making frozen bread dough a lot.

I had a couple of failures over the last 2 weeks, until I watched this video, which makes laugh..ha!
Joshua's measurements and methods however gave me this lovely sweet smelling starter in 7 days.
Meet Matilda!
Now, you don't have to name your starter, but I decided to give her a strong name, given that she is a Rye/wheat girl and how can you forget to feed something that you gave a name to, right?

I love to watch her grow after I feed her.
It starts off small with just a few bubbles…

…and she's on the rise!  
Nice big bubbles and a sweet smell.
The first picture is fully risen, before she deflates.
My first batch that was a failure had the most god awful smell and was trashed.

Ken and I are not huge bread eaters, or let me rephrase this.
 We choose not to be big bread eaters because at least for me, those carbs like to hang out in my middle, but after seeing all of the scrumptious loaves out there I've made one or two fast no knead breads right along with you.

I am fortunate that I have a big canister filled with sugar, flour and a few bags of rye and wheat flours along with some yeast that I have had from Thanksgiving.
Knowing how hard it is to get certain things right now, I have been trying to be very judicious in how I am using it.

See that bread mix…well, in theory it sounded like it was going to be really good with Rosemary, Lemon and Honey, but truth be told, I didn't like it at all.  The Rosemary was just too overwhelming, so I won't waste flour making this one again.  Ken on the other hand loved it BUT he doesn't need to be eating a whole loaf of bread himself either..ha!

Lessons learned, but watching that starter come to life has been a fun diversion from the stress that so many of us are feeling right now, so if you have the time and the flour, give Joshua's method a try.

Now I have to wade into the world of making the sourdough bread.  It sounds so complicated!

Can you see a sound?
Can you hear a light?
Can you unite your senses?
Can you turn inward?
Deng Ming~Dao

I'm not going to lie, it's been a hard week here waffling between panic and gratefulness, like so many others trying to find a sense of normalcy in a very changed world.

Ken is still working every other day, so when he is home, I find it easier to stay calm, but on the days he is away, it's a bit harder, so I have been finding ways to keep busy.

My oldest daughter is an OB nurse, so I have been working on masks for her unit.  They are more work than they look like and I've had a number of failures, but I love to sew and knowing that every little bit helps, helps me.  I will be making some for family today and some surgical caps with buttons for my youngest daughter's friend who is a nurse in Boston.

I have also fired up the dye pots and will be doing a lot of dyeing next week.  I am not set up to go back to dyed to order with my inventory right now, but there will be some new colors and some old favorites in a few different bases.

I dyed this combination a few days ago anticipating some color work that I have wanted to do.  My friend Cara has designed this beautiful mitten pattern called Persimmon Flower and when I saw it, I knew immediately that this was the design I wanted to make. Cara is SO talented!

….and walking always brings calmness to my spirit.
It's where I do my best thinking.
It's been a rainy couple of days, so it's has been a bit more challenging finding time to go out while dodging the rain drops, but even when it's gloomy, I make time to get out and breathe and remember that we will get through this one day at a time.

What are you doing to stay busy during these challenging times?

Oh My Goodness…what a month it has been!
How are you all doing?  I have been working with Kym of Stepping Away From The Edge on a once a month fitness blog post since January, but needless to say, it's been a bit harder staying focused this month for sure!

I know myself in addition to worrying about family members, I have had to find that comfort zone in keeping myself occupied at home after working in the 9-5 world for the last 5 years.

Before going back to work when my dye pots were busy, I would print out orders the night before and plan my day.  It always included a healthy breakfast and a planned 2-3 mile walk before I got down to work in my studio.

While I haven't been very good about strength training this month, I have been good about getting outside and walking, in between the little snow storms that have become a regular occurrence this March.  Nothing too much, but just enough to be a bit of a hinderance.  

On one particularly gloomy day, I headed out feeling very overwhelmed by everything I was feeling.  Sadness for our children, worry for my grown children still in the workforce and concern for my parents.

Here is where the work I have been doing in self care kicked in.

One day when I went out for a walk, I saw a school bus stopping and was confused, but when I saw they were delivering school lunches, it made my heart smile.

The next day a little boy was waiting with his mom when the bus came and he had a big thank you sign. I thanked the bus driver and started to cry as I was walking and I immediately realized that I was allowing panic and sadness to settle in, so I asked myself a few questions that I have learned will help us find the root of our discomfort, such as…